General Laws
000.001 Bluegrass Specifications
Bluegrass Specifications are not to be confused with Bluegrass Definitions (000.002)
and state that all music being called “Bluegrass” must adhere to strict standards of instrumentation.
000.001(a) Instrumentation of all Bluegrass bands shall consist of a minimum of two or more of the following instruments: Banjo, Guitar, Fiddle, Bass, Dobro.
000.001(b) Duplication of Instrumentation such as two fiddles, two banjos, etc. will constitute an infraction of the Bluegrass Specification Law [000.001(a-b)]
000.001(c) Addition of other instrumentation such as percussive instruments (also known as drums) and/or wind-blown instruments (also known as harmonicas) will constitute an infraction.
000.002 Bluegrass Definitions
Bluegrass Definitions are the explanatory example of real and genuine bluegrass contrasted with artificial bluegrass
000.002(a) All Banjos being used in bluegrass must meet the 5-string condition. Use of a 4-string banjo will constitute a violation of Bluegrass Law [000.002(a)].
000.002(b) All Fiddles being used in bluegrass must meet the 4-string condition. The addition of a 5th string to a fiddle constitutes a violation of Bluegrass Law [000.002(b)].
000.002(c) All Guitars being used in bluegrass must meet the 6-string condition. The use of an additional 6 strings (for a total of 12) constitutes a violation of Bluegrass Law [000.002(c)].
000.002(d) All Basses used in bluegrass must meet the upright acoustic condition. The use of Bass Guitar (whether acoustic or electric) or the use of a stand-up electric bass shall constitute a violation of Bluegrass Law [000.002(d)].
000.002(e) All Mandolins used in bluegrass must meet the “A” or “F” model condition. Use of a “bowl” or electric mandolin constitutes a violation of Bluegrass Law [000.002(e)].
000.002(f) All Dobro's must meet the reso-laptop condition. Use of a Resonator Guitar, use of a slide device on a regular guitar, use of a peddle contraption or use of any electronic pickup constitutes a violation of Bluegrass Law [000.002(f)].
Drug Laws
001.001 Attempting to treat or cure bluegrass fever with OTC (Over-The-Counter) remedies and paraphernalia is a serious violation. Authorized Music Stores and Radio Stations are the only source of legal meds and apparatus.
001.002 Using drugs to play more notes in a given time (Picking Faster) constitutes a violation and is subject to fines and or loss of privileged and or both.
001.003 Hoarding Prescription Bluegrass and refusing to share with others is a minor offence and will subject both parties to counseling or mental therapy.
Traffic Laws
002.001 Following the BASS Player and arriving to the destination late is an offense for both parties and punishable by fine
002.002 Following the GUITAR Player and following too slowly is an offense for the following party and is subject to fines or warnings relative to the number of occurances.
002.003 Following the FIDDLE is almost impossible but if you can do it successfully, you'll be entered into a drawing to receive a citation of merit.
002.004 Following the DOBRO too closely causes a "SLIDING" action and can result in a wreck. Subject to fines and replacement costs of damages
002.005 Following the MANDOLIN (Chopping) is completely unnecessary unless the mandolin is picking in which case you're no longer following. Chopping simultaneously with the mandolin is punishable by fine and or loss of privileges.
002.006 Following the DRUMS (any percussive instrument) is extremely forbidden in Bluegrass. If you are following the DRUMS, you are no longer in a bluegrass band or jam and are therefore no longer under the jurisdiction of the Bluegrass Police. Reports will be filed with the Rock and Jazz Police and their courts will issue a summons.
Playing or Performance Laws
003.001 Beating on an instrument such as a guitar or bass in order to create a percussive sound (sometimes known as slapping or tapping) is a violation and subject to double fines. (One fine each from the Bluegrass Police for playing Rock-a-Billy in a Bluegrass Band and from the Rock-a-Billy Police for playing Rock-a-Billy outside their jurisdiction.
003.002 Using a bow on any instrument other than a fiddle (such as a bass) is a violation of the Monroe Doctrine and subject to dismissal from the Bluegrass Community and or small fine depending upon how well the execution of the bow is presented.
003.003 Use of non-standard instrumentation such as Sax, Pedal Steel, Drums, Flute, Bodran, Penny Whistle, Tambourine, Harmonica, Accordion, etc is an infraction and will subject the offender(s) to a fine and or removal from jam or in extreme cases, from the entire Bluegrass Community. [000.001(a) - (c)]
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Anyone breaking the rules may be dismissed without explanation as follows, "That aint no part of Bluegrass, that aint no part of nothin."
The Aspen Daily News reported "The banjo is considered "a deadly weapon" under Colorado law". On New Year’s Eve, Joseph Stancato of Denver allegedly struck another man in the head with his banjo after a minor altercation District Judge James Boyd has approved Stancato’s request to be allowed to tour with his band while awaiting his court date. If convicted of assault with a deadly banjo, Stancato could be imprisoned.
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